Tough night…
Taven is finally starting to go to bed a little easier. Ever since we upgraded him from a crib to a twin bed (originally because he would crawl out of his crib anyway) he would stay up, turn on the lights, and play with anything he could get his hands on (including the bedroom door!). Well, it’s been about a month and he has been staying in bed the last few nights after we lay him down. YEAH!
However, last night, he started SCREAMING about 90 minutes after we laid him down. Melisa & I thought “maybe he fell out of bed”, so we ran to his room to find him still in bed & screaming his little head off.
Night Terrors…
Poor kid. He’s had maybe 5 or 6 night terrors before. He sounds like he’s mad, yelling & screaming mostly non-sense words & frustrated sounds. He whips around so much that I have to hold him some just to keep him from falling to the floor or beating himself against the wall. He gets even madder (is that even a word?) if I try to hold him tight, so I have to just lightly hold him ,but that means I’m getting beat up in the process. Ug… Anyhow, he usually seems aware enough to know we’re there & when one of us leaves (like if Melisa walks away). He can even say “NO” to just about any question we throw his way (ie “Do you want some water?”, “Do you have a boo boo?”, “Do you want up with Daddy?”, “Do you want to go night-night?”, etc…)
From time to time he would say “Want some water”, but then throw a fit if we actually offered it to him… He’s not fully aware of what’s going on or even what he’s saying… He’ll eventually end up just crying & saying more non-sense things & he’ll finally start winding down. By this time he’s usually having a hard time breathing because he’s so tired from the screaming, so I’ll just lie there holding him in his bed until he stops crying and he’s able to breath more evenly & then sneak him back onto his pillow for the rest of the night.
Last night it was about 45 minutes from the first scream to finally laying him back down (9:30 to about 10:15)…
You feel so helpless & there really is nothing you can do for him but sit there mildly restraining him until he finally wears out & goes back to sleep. Melisa definitely takes it harder than me… She wants to do anything he says (even though he doesn’t realize what he’s saying) and she wants desperately to just hold him tight & stroke his hair (niether of which gets a possitive reaction out of Taven in the middle of all of this).
Sadly, all we can do is keep him from getting hurt & wait it out. Ijust thank God than Bradey was able to sleep through all the noise. It gets that much harder when both boys are going…
Date posted: Wednesday, February 4th, 2009 3:27 PM | Under category: Fun Stuff / Stories
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Oooh! I so feel for you both. You didn’t have too many of those “Night Terrors”. But, when you did, you usually wanted to crawl into my bed for just a bit, then want to go back to your bed. That was usually, there were times you’d flail, and scream and there was no consoling you. All I could do was sit there on the floor beside your bed and let you know I was there if you needed me or something more. Seldom did you ever harm yourself, whenever you did it was a minor head throwing onto pillow agaisnt the wall–no bruises or bumps and srapes, I saw to it that no actual harm would take place, even if I had to quickly put my arm or body quickly between the pillow and the wall.
Your sister on the other hand had them quite regualrly for a number of years since she was quite little-before even walking age. When she was able to talk- she’d take a while before calming and then she’d just start sharing what she saw(not actually seeing, but what she saw in her mind) she’d say she wasn’t dreaming but, that she believed something was actually going to happen or did happen. She truly believed that. So, I’d listen and comfort her and reasure her nothing like that would ever happen. She’d want to know how I knew it would never happen, so I’d give her scenerios (sp?) about how it wouldn’t be possible. Then she’d feel relieved and want to go back to sleep, or I’d lay in her bed while I hold her until I was either so cold I’d want to go back to my bed (because I’d lay beside her in the beginning on top of her covers holding her) and I didn’t want to wake her while I tried to crawl under the covers beside her, or I’d ask if she either wanted me to stay or leave, or she’d tell me she was ok, that she wanted me to go to my own bed.
But, when you both had nightmares/bad dreams you’d want to crawl into bed with me. When you all got to be around 4 & 8 you alll were too big for me to have you both in bed with me (I couldn’t sleep with flailing arms in my face or getting kicked by you both–you all were squirmers while you were young) when something woke you both so I’d either have you bring your pillow & blanket in and lay on the floor next to me, or I’d go sleep on the couch and you all lay on the floor next to me with your pillow and blanket.
Then when Tom and I married and you had bad dreams, you all would bring your pillows & blankets and lay on the floor beside me. Sometimes I wouldn’t even know one or both of you were laying there sleeping until it was time for me to get up, or I’d hear you talking softly.
But, even after Tom & I were married and you needed me in your rooms, I had to remember to bring a blanket or wear my robe. Again though, you yourself didn’t have many, but you surely would talk allot in your sleep or sleep walk, or even get your school clothes on in the middle of the night thinking it was time for school..
You both are doing great in how you are handling Tavens “Night Terrors”. There’s really not a whole lot you can do during them, but be there for him, hold him if he wants that, or just your presence (sp) is enough.
As a mommy, Melisa feeling helpless– that is so normal. And, her wanting to do or get anything to soothe him–that is also, so normal. She’s being a mommy, wanting to help him any way she can. And, when nothing seems to help, she feels bad–that feeling is so normal. She’s a good epathetic mommy and sometimes just doesn’t know what to do to help. She is so blessed to have you-daddy, to help out in those situations. And, not just because you may know how to better help Taven, but, because you know how to help calm mommy, and to ease her insecurities.
You daddy, sometimes are not so emotionally charged during some situations and are able to just take things (Taven’s ‘Night Terrors’) in stride though you may even seem helpless. Mommy on the other hand sometimes takes them personally like she’s not doing things right or feel like she not a good enough mommy.
But, both you, Thomas/Daddy, and Melisa/Mommy are great parents, you both do the best that you can- one of you may be better able to handle some the other can’t and then the other can handle even something else in a better way. That is what being parents or husband & wife is all about. Complimenting each other, stepping in when the other is unable and vise-versa. You both are absolutely great in my eyes.
God, has His hand in everything you all do, say & touch. I am blessed to witness that in your family.
I love you all. Blessed be our Lord & Saviour-Jesus Christ. Forever His, Mom (Smith)